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The Murphy's Law Awards
© 2016 - present by Leon of Leon's Planet dot com
is Murphy's Law?
Murphy's Law comes in various different texts
and expressions, but this is how I heard it:
If anything can go
wrong, it will.
has a nice article on the history of Murphy's Law. It was
named after a scientist named Edward Murphy, but he did NOT coin the
law. Apparently, the concept of "Murphy's Law" has been
around for a long time, and it is almost impossible to trace the first
usage/coinage of the law.
It has been associated with the second law of
thermodynamics, which states the law of entropy, essentially that
systems tend to break down (i.e., energy dissipates) when left unattended.
The problem with Murphy's Law is that it's not true (an
therefore, it's not a law). It's actually a misnomer, and quite
often used as an excuse by people when something doesn't quite go as
planned. The actual truth of the matter is that there is an
infinite number things that could possibly go wrong at any given time,
and certainly all of those possibilities do not become reality. If
ALL possibilities for something to go wrong were actually realized in
all scenarios, we wouldn't be able to survive as a species (and probably
all life would be extinguished). A more appropriate
"law" would go like this:
The more possibilities that exist
for something to go wrong, the more likely it is for something to go
The fact of the matter is that humans beat the
odds every day, and we survive quite well despite all the possibilities
that exist for something to go wrong. The tricks to countering the
law (as I have stated it) are:
(1) Think positively, and...
(2) Do proper and timely maintenance! (to
Even then, something can go wrong when dealing
with humans, because humans are prone to err. Dennis the Menace is
a prime example of that. And, occasionally, there are humans
with bad intentions involved, who do bad things.
But, if you look at the statistics, more things
go right than go wrong, so be happy about that!
are the Murphy's Law Awards?
The Murphy's Law Awards are a take-off
of the Darwin
Awards, which in an attempt at humor and/or entertainment give
nominal awards to those who've by their own stupidity have
removed themselves from the gene-pool, either by dying or making their
reproductive organs ineffectual.
Therefore, in like manner, The Murphy's Law
Awards, attempt at humor and/or entertainment by giving nominal awards
to those who've by shear bad luck proven Murphy's Law
"true" (to one extent or another).
Darwin Awards => for stupidity
Murphy's Law Awards => for shear bad luck
When considering whether or not to submit an
account, please keep the following things in mind; the account
must meet the following criteria:
The account of the event must be a true event,
and recounted with as much accuracy as possible. Video submissions
are of course the most veracious, but written accounts will also be
accepted, so long as they can be verified; i.e., first-hand accounts
will be accepted. Second-hand accounts have to be verified by the
person to whom the bad luck occurred. Etc.
(2) Extremely Bad Luck
The candidate for the Murphy's Law Award must
have incurred extreme bad luck. Unlike, the Darwin Awards,
which focus on stupidity, the Murphy's Law Award focuses upon chance;
like..."What are the chances of that happening?" The
chances must be quite slim, and the luck must be quite bad. The
person may have been removed from the gene-pool, but not by stupidity,
rather by extremely bad luck. So, that means that survivors of the
event may also qualify for the award; one's does not have to die to get
the award, just be extremely unlucky.
(3) Physical and Mental Maturity
As this is for entertainment purposes, the
deaths of children (under the age of 18) shall be disqualified, as that
is NOT funny in my book. Please do not submit accounts of
Along similar lines, accounts of children being
seriously injured or maimed for life may be disqualified at any time by
the owner of this website. That's just not funny.
Now, accounts of children incurring extreme bad
luck, without dying AND without incurring serious injury will be judged
on a case-by-case basis, for their entertainment value.
Leon's Planet reserves the ultimate the right
to judge the accounts for fulfilling the criteria above, even if polls
may be used.
Video submissions will be accepted.
Leon's own submissions will be judged by viewers (not by himself).
for the Murphy's Law Awards (contact
||SAMPLE SUBMISSION: "Barrel
The following story is apocryphal. It might be based upon a
true story. It has been circulating the internet on websites and in
e-mails. I put it here as a sample of what would be a
winner of the Murphy's Law Awards, if only it could be verified. I
understand that stupidity was involved in the following account, but who
hasn't done anything mildly stupid in their life? I prefer to
think of it as a lack of forethought, rather than stupidity.
This man was in an accident (work accident, not car accident), so he filled out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more information. This was his response:
I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80 foot tower.
When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now un-needed tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley, which was fortunately attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the 300 pounds of tools. You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope . . .
origins of the story (may be based upon a true story).
|Title: "See-Saw Squats"
is what happened to me today.
So, I was in a Chinese restaurant, and after dinner I had to take a
dump. I went to the restroom, where there was one of those
Ever since I got my pot-belly, it's been hard for me to squat without
falling backwards, because it takes great effort to pull my weight
forward on the balls of my feet as I'm squatting, straddling over the
squatter with my belly in the way. But, I really had to go; So, I
pulled my pants down and squatted, straddling the squatter.
Then, I began to push out one of the biggest, longest logs ever to exit
my body. I swear every muscle in my body was working (except the
anal sphincter, of course). Many muscles were engaged trying to
keep my weight forward, so that I didn't fall backwards into the toilet
bowl, while all other muscles were helping to get that monstrous thing
out of me!
After what seemed like really long time, I could feel that my anal
sphincter was about ready to pinch the loaf, and I was so relieved that
I completely forgot about the laws of physics. As the loaf of poo
dropped, a great weight exited my backside, creating an unbalance in the
distribution of overall weight being delicately balanced on the fulcrum
of the balls of my feet.
Yep! I fell forward!
It all happened so fast, that what happened next is just a blur; but
best I can piece together is that I reacted to my face rapidly
approaching the floor in front of me by pushing with my hands.
Apparently I pushed to hard.
Still being balanced on the balls of my feet, my body, like a see-saw,
went the opposite direction. Not having anything to stop me, my
bottom fell into the squatter and landed on the loaf that I had just
30 minutes later, after cleaning myself off, I came out and Titus was
asleep. He didn't ask, and I didn't have the heart to tell him why
it took so long. He had no idea what had just happened and no clue
until he got on the back of the motorbike behind me, and we took off.
I could hear him in the back yelling, "Oh, my....! What is
by: Leon of Leon's Planet dot com
"The Booger Bomb"
It was a normal day, like any other. I was doing my thing, as
usual, when I could feel an urge to sniff some extra mucous from my
nose.....something I had done thousands of times before without any
Well, apparently, there was a huge booger in my right nostril that I was
unaware of. When I sniffed really hard, the booger became
dislodged, quickly went up the right nasal passage, and then down into
my throat. My guess is that it was traveling close to the speed of
sound. It was going so fast that it completely bypassed the
esophagus and went directly into my trachea, immediately triggering the
Uncontrollably I coughed and successfully dislodged the booger which
came up and out of my trachea at the same speed that it had gone in,
striking the uvula in the back of my throat triggering the gag reflex.
Before I even knew what had just happened I was throwing up. One second
I was sniffing, and the next second I was throwing up. At first I
was like, "What the.....?"
After my body regained its composure, my brain began to process what had
by: Leon of Leon's Planet dot com
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